Friday 20 May 2016

A Lifelong Battle Between Weight and Confidence

We live in a society that argues that a persons weight doesn't matter at the same time where anyone who is every size under the sun gets mocked for either being too fat, too skinny or not being "perfect."

It's sad really.

It's sad how one minute you see photos and tweets about how every size is perfect then the next minute the person who commented about the fact that "weight doesn't matter" is now mocking you because you're a size 16 and proud of your body.

Society says to be proud of yourself but then mocks you for your so called imperfections.

The funny thing is society's construction of "perfection" quite literally doesn't exist, because you could be everything that people regard to be "perfect" but someone would still mock you because their standards seem to grow with every perfection you seem to have.

For me personally, I've always had an issue with my size.

My slow metabolism and love of food has meant that I'm a solid size 16 and am highly struggling now as an 18 year old to lose a few dress sizes. But even as a kid, I had the wonderful experiences of bullying because my stomach wasn't flat.

At 10 and 11 I was picked on at school because I wasn't thin.

Aged 10.

Any alarm bells ringing here?

You get laughed at and ridiculed for being a few sizes bigger than average but you get eyes rolled at and days of non top comments stating you for being a few sizes smaller than the average.

It's not even an issue you can avoid.

I login to twitter and see tweets like "If you're over 200lbs you shouldn't wear shorts or leggings" and "Size 8 is too skinny why don't you eat more?"

I walk into lessons where people talk about the person someone hates because they are "really skinny and just need to eat a pizza for a change."

I play sports and have to hear the endless comments about "fat people shouldn't play sport they're too unfit for that."


But people don't consider for one second the lasting impact these comments have on people.

They don't consider their comments about someone being "too fat" can lead to people stop eating all together to try and become "perfect."

They don't consider the harm that comments directed towards a person suffering with eating disorders can bring up in people who are battling with their minds and the food they put in their mouth.

The Costs of Eating Disorders - Social, Health and Economic Impacts report publisized that in the UK alone, 725,000 people suffer with eating disorders (most common in young women.) Eating disorders have the highest rates of death than any other mental illness, with 1 in 5 losing their lives due to the illness itself or the psychological impact (eventually leading to suicide).

And the comments about weight that society throws on people are a very real and very common trigger to not eating or purging everything you eat.

On the other side of the coin, 85% of people who suffer with Emotional Overeating said that they have a negative body image, with 79% of these saying it is also the impact of society's pressure to lose weight that led to their eating disorder.


One comment can have a long lasting impact on someones confidence and life..

Weight for many people, including myself, is a main factor in low levels of confidence. Looking in the mirror and hating what you see because your mind tells you that you're too fat or you aren't fat enough.

You see it all the time. Constantly reassuring your friends that they aren't fat and that they don't need to stop eating all together to lose weight. But they don't listen to you just as you don't listen to yourself as you try and stop the voice in your head from persuading you that you are everything you don't want to be.

It's funny how we use fat as an insult now though. Fat it just an adjective, a descriptive word but now society has twisted its meaning so much that being fat is instantly a bad thing and something that you don't want to be, instead of the simple descriptive word that the creators of the english language intended it to be.

So yeah,  Hi, I'm fat.

And I find that it's so much easier to have confidence in the way you look when you take away all the negativity attatched to the simple fucking adjectives that people use to try and insult you when really they're just the same as saying that you have brown hair or you're tall or short.

And people in this world like Nicole fucking Arbour who thinks its bloody fantastic to make videos insulting people over their weight saying ridiculous things about the fact that all overweight people are just lazy (i'm 99% sure I do more exercise than her btw and I'm probably twice her size) oh and just denying fat shaming is even a thing (which is all she does in the insulting, crude and disgusting video btw.) Not fogetting my personal favourite comment that people that are obese deserve to be shamed until they stop 'bad habits.'

People like her need to stop being complete and utter twats who don't understand anything about a persons struggles with their weight and their ability to lose it (if they even want to.)

People make insulting comments without a second thought about the fact that people in this world wake up every day hating the way they look, shaming themselves for not having a flat stomach, refuse to eat in public because they believe that people judge them for eating. They don't have a second thought for the people who starve themselves to feel perfect, for the people who can't go a day without someone telling them to 'not eat that piece of cake you need to eat healthy to lose weight.' For the people who eat so much but can't put on any weight no matter how hard they try and all they hear is stick from their family and friends for being 'too thin.'

And when it comes to my weight it feels like a constant battle between society, what I see in the mirror and what my mind says to me.

I look at myself in an outfit and will change at least 10 times because I feel too fat in something and I get myself so worked up that people will laugh at me because of the way I look in a dress or in a top that isn't loose and long. I used to put on my football kit and then have to pick up the courage to actually put on my shorts and go out with my legs showing because I hate my thighs that much that it took me ages to put on a pair of shorts that I wore the week before.

That's not the way it should be, no one should have peoples words etched into their mind about how they "aren't skinny enough yet" because society tells us we can't be perfect until we have a "perfect" body.

But that's just it isn't it.

You don't need a "perfect" body to be "perfect"
You don't need a "perfect" flat stomach and thigh gap to be "perfect"

You don't need any specific thing to be "perfect" because there is no such thing as the "perfect" figure, the "perfect" size, the "perfect" weight.


You are perfect whether you're a size 2 or a size 22.
You are perfect whether you love your body or hate your body.
You are perfect whether you have a thigh gap or not.


And one day you're going to meet someone who will make you feel so beautiful no matter how much you weigh and a person who won't care that you have a little stomach and a person who won't care if you can eat 3 whole large pizzas and end up losing 4lbs.

You are perfect no matter your body shape.

Society doesn't emphasise it enough.


And it's so easy to forget that.




More Informtion and Support:

http://www.healthyweightnetwork.com/size1.htm
https://www.b-eat.co.uk
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/eating-disorders/pages/introduction.aspx
http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/eating-problems/#.Vz9eljZlnVo
http://eating-disorders.org.uk



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