I am in one of the best places I have been mentally for a long time. Maybe not on account for how I am feeling, but my sole ability to acknowledge it and be able to keep on going.
I have just once again reached four months clean. Before this, it was over 3 months. I have relapsed once in 2020. Once. Through a hugely stressful masters degree alongside a part time night shift job, spiking anxiety, a global pandemic, alot of change, and let me reiterate, a global PANDEMIC alongside the many other awful things of 2020, I have only relapsed once.
Even on my worst nights currently, my brain doesn't even think about relapse anymore, when for 10 years it was all I could ever think about.
I now know that recovery is possible. I am proving that to myself everyday.
Maybe that time from over 13 weeks ago. Maybe it isn't.
But I am able to do this.
