Storms Don't Last Forever

When the rain hits your face, the thunder claps louder with each strike and when the wind howls in the night, you want it all to end.

When you are sat in a storm, you want it to end. You want the rain to turn into sunshine, the hurricanes to reverse and fix all thats broken and the thunder to turn into rainbows.

When you're sat in a storm, you pray to yourself that it won't come back.

You hope and you pray that the rain turns into drizzle so it won't flood your home and you hope the lightning goes away so you aren't shocked from the sky. You hope everything goes okay and nothing hurts you, because the least you deserve is to be protected in a storm.

In the worst of storms you shut yourself away, because thats all you know. You shut yourself away to attempt to shield yourself from the dangers in the world because you want to protect yourself. Prevent risk. Prevent pain.

In a lesser storm you'll walk around with an umbrella and warmer, waterproof clothing to counteract the weather. You'll ignore the darkening clouds and hope they go away and don't affect you.

In the cloudless, blue skies it's all okay.


Your mind is a storm.

When everything is okay, your cloudless. The birds are chirping, the sun will be shining. You'll smile, wave, look forward to a new day. You'll be happy. You'll feel okay. You'll forget the times there was a storm because there isn't a point in focusing on the past when in the present you feel so happy.

When the rain starts to drizzle, you try to ignore it. You hope for clearer skies, for better days, knowing they happen and that they aren't hopefully far away. Sometimes the drizzle and grey clouds will pass and your mind is cloudless again. You can breathe. It's okay.

Other times, the darkness rolls in. You feel a weight on your shoulders as you walk under the greying sky. You feel the drizzle turn into rain and see everyone running away inside, when you can't do anything but carry on walking in the rain. You see everyone leaving even though you can't escape.

Then the thunder. The lightning. The hurricane. The tidal wave.

Then the overwhelming feelings hit you all at once like a lightening storm. You feel weak, you feel helpless. You feel as though you've been struck by lightening hundreds of times but no one will notice because everyone else is inside, protected. You feel as though your mind is a hurricane. All your irrational thoughts whirlwind in your mind, the feeling that you are worthless, unloved, don't deserve happiness, the feelings of unwantedness and the feeling of worry. They all battle with each other, but eventually turn into one large hurricane. Then the tidal wave. Then you're suddenly drowning where everyone else around you is watching you. Everyone around you is breathing and calm and okay when you feel like your lungs are about to collapse and feel like everything is going to end.

You forget a time without a storm. You think your entire life is a storm that will never end. You forget all the happy times, the sun shining and the cloudless sky. This is you. Happiness doesn't exist. You want it all to end. You want to end the storm by ending your life because you believe that it's the only way you'll be able to breathe.

Breathe.

The water slowly drains. The rain slowly stops. The lightning becomes further apart. The hurricane shrinks.

You can breathe.

The sky turns from grey to blue. The sun shines once again and everyone comes out. Or someone helps you in.

The storm passed and you made it out alive because even though at one point you couldn't breathe or see an end, all storms end.

You don't always have to live in cloudless skies.

The storm will pass.

You will be okay.